things with three

It's no secret that having kids makes some things more difficult. You have to plan more and prep in order to do the things you usually do. I remember Gideon's three day well-check like it just happened.  I scheduled it for nine in the morning because I've always been a morning person and punctual so I figured I could get there on time. I forgot to take into consideration that I would be running low on sleep, therefore sleeping in. Plus time to nurse Gideon before we left, on top of getting myself ready. And to make it even more fun he peed through his diaper and all over my clothes of which I had no more pants options because no laundry done and postpartum which means nothing fits. Hello, thirty minutes late to appointment.

I've figured a few things out since then and with each baby we bring on board I've had to adjust and learn some ninja tricks to help me get things done, get places on time, and keep my general sanity. So here are a few things in my arsenal of magic.

+ Meal planning. Oh, I know those are dirty words to some people and I use to hate doing it, but now it makes life so much simpler. Every Sunday afternoon, I sit down and write out dinner meals for the week. Seven days. I ask Taylor his opinion on what he would like and then fill in the rest. And just so you don't think I'm planning gourmet, whole 30 compliant fancy things, we almost always have one night that says "pizza" and another that is "breakfast for dinner." I make a complete grocery list from my planned out meals which simplifies the shopping trip and ensures we don't need to make any extra runs later in the week.

+ Laundry/weekly prep. Sunday is my get it done day. With Taylor being a pastor, Sunday is technically the start of our week so I go ahead and get things going. I sort and prep all the laundry so it's ready to throw in on Monday morning.  I do little things to prep the house for the week. Clean litter box and sweep, stock diapers and wipes downstairs, empty trash from bathrooms.  It makes me not so frantic come Monday morning. {We also do laundry on Thursday so Wednesday is another prep night}.

+ Grocery shop. I do this every Monday morning for the week. Taylor thinks I'm crazy to do this with all three kiddos, but we've got to eat. I love Monday morning because the stores are empty of crowds.  I can maneuver my circus through there with minimal collateral damage. One thing that helps me get this done is the Shop Binxy cart hammock. I actually only discovered this after Lincoln was born because all of a sudden I had no where to fit actual groceries in the cart with the carseat in it, Nolan up front, and Gideon hanging on the side. This genius hammock fits most groceries carts, works for babies until they are sitting on their own AND can even safely hold the carseat if you don't want to wake your sleeping babe. Um, why did I not design this first.

+ Make beds daily. We make all the beds first thing in the morning. And by we, I mean me. I don't know why, but making the beds sets the tone for my day. It also doesn't give me the option to crawl back in it and set up camp which in all honesty is what I would love to do most days. But, duty calls. Taylor even saw an article recently that said people who make their beds every day live more peaceful lives. I need all the peace I can get.

shirt from declan and crew

+ Dry shampoo. Yep. I went there. I don't wash my hair every day. I'm mostly an every other day girl and sometimes push it to day three hair. This allows me to sleep a little longer on some days, to save time getting ready and to minimize hair damage. Win, win, win.

+ Use of TV, free grocery store cookies, and the dollar store. I'm not ashamed of these. Sometimes as a mom you just need time to get things done and if a show/movie, free cookie, and cheap toys helps then do it. DO IT.

+ Light a candle and ignore. When the crazy gets crazy I just light a candle and go to my happy place. Boys fighting? Mama doesn't hear it. In fact, my name isn't mom anymore.


* Binxy Baby provided the cart hammock to me, but as always this is me genuine opinion.  Feel free to use my referral code for 10% off your own genuis cart hammock.

Lately with two

Whew.  How has it been almost three weeks since we had a baby?  It goes so fast with some of the longest days at the same time.  Defying logic all day, everyday.  So here is a little update on life with two in our house...

{one}. The hardest part about having two is meeting both of their needs that arise at the same time when I am by myself.  It is impossible (because it is) to nurse Nolan while he is screaming and help Gideon use the potty at the same time.  So one is usually crying while I help the other and then I switch.  But, we are learning and will get it down.

{two}.  Speaking of Gideon and the potty, he decided this week that he wanted to potty train.  After months of us encouraging it and trying and him objecting, he out of the blue asked to use it.  And I am not one to thwart that party especially when it will mean less diapers.  He's used it several times, but is not fully trained yet.  Any help or advice is welcome!

{three}. Nolan is sleeping pretty great at night.  Usually waking every three to four hours.  Sometimes he gets ahead of himself and is up at two hours.  But, I think it doesn't feel so horrible this time around because A). my body is used to it and B). I know that it ends and I will eventually sleep again.  Maybe not for the next twelve months or so, but at some point, he will be big and sleeping and I will be sad.

{four}. Last week, I started pumping so we could try a bottle.  Several reasons I like to do this.  So Taylor can feed him which he loves, in case I need to be/go somewhere and can't bring Nolan, and for sanity.  He took the bottle right away like a champ and hasn't shown an issue with any of them in the evenings before bed.  I also like to know that he is full (he falls asleep during nursing, but with a bottle I can see how much he has had) before bed!  Yay baby, yay!

{five}. Gideon is obsessed with the Avengers and superheroes in general.  I mean obsessed.  He assigns us all characters.  I am either Cat woman or Black widow.  Taylor is usually Bane or Joker.  I think I get the better end of that deal.

{six].  These got longer than I had anticipated so I will stop for now.

Teaching him, while still learning

It's that time of year where the stores begin setting out fake pine trees, playing jolly tunes, and commercials scream at you with a countdown of how many shopping days you have left.  The busyness of the season sets in and everyone has a list of things they have to get done.  Gifts to buy, goodies to bake, people to see.

I remember the excitement of it all as a child.  I remember making lists (ridiculous lists) of all the things I wanted and "had to have."  I also remember my parents being very intentional about giving during this time and making sure we understood that, too.  Picking out gifts for siblings. No, not what you think is cool, but what would they like? 

One of the things I remember the most was putting together Operation Christmas Child boxes every year.  We always did two (a boy and a girl) and went to the store specifically for the purpose of filling these boxes for someone else.  But in my young mind, I couldn't help but look at the Barbies and dolls and sand art and markers and all that kept coming out of my mouth was, I WANT this for Christmas.  One of the most vivid recollections I have was in one of these moments where my mom looked me in the eyes and said, this is not about you right now.  It's about giving to someone else.

It's not about me.  It's still not about me.  But, how easily it is to get in the "I WANT this" mindset even when we have been called to give, to think outside of ourselves for even a minuscule moment in time.

Yesterday, we loaded Gideon in the car and drove the forty-five minutes to Target.  We had a shoebox to fill and I had a picture in my mind of him getting excited to pick things out for another little boy his age.  It started out great.  He smiled as we showed him wooden cars, Elmo socks, a tractor book and his eyes lit up as he placed them in our basket.  It wasn't until the end of our trip that he realized these things weren't coming home for him to play with.

So, it was there, in the Crayola aisle of Target, with a tantrum in full swing over a forty eight count box of crayons, that I found myself looking my own son in the eyes and saying those words, this is not about you right now.  My heart broke and I held back tears as I tried to explain to his two-year-old mind that another little boy across the world had nothing and would be so excited for this box.  And I know in a lot of ways it is beyond his capacity to understand, but it won't stop me from trying to teach him.

I so desperately want to break the cycle of self-centeredness that our society is so bent on.  I want my sons to see that there is so much more to life than getting the newest, having the most, and forgetting those who need our help.  Will it happen perfectly?  Absolutely not.  It is ingrained in us.  I had to fight my own desires as I walked past the accessories department in Target looking for the scarf I've been wanting for months.  Is it wrong to want things?  No.  But, when those wants consume us, it is.

As a parent, it is a struggle to fight against the desire to give our babies everything.  It would be so easy to do and our love for them is so great that we wouldn't think twice about it.  I hope and pray that I fight that urge and instead give them the invaluable gift to think past themselves.  It's something I am still learning to do today.

He's really confusing

Parenting is the most confusing adventure I've ever been on.  You think dating is a jumble of what just happened?  What does that mean?  But parenting is the biggest crock of mayhem ever.  Exhibit A: This series of wonderfulness above.  One for the memory books, ya know.  A sweet cuddle sesh, oh wait, no my kid is hitting me in the face.  And bam, he gets the perfected "mom scowl" in that last one.

Yesterday, my ALWAYS nap for an hour and a half kid broke the mold and napped for an entire three hours.  Three hours!  Do you know what I can do with three hours?  I do.  Catch up on blogs. Watch two episodes of what Taylor calls my "trash shows." And clean our entire bathroom (really clean, not just the usual surface-no-one-will-look-that-close stuff).  I didn't say parenting was always a bad crock of mayhem.  Sometimes they surprise you with the good stuff.

And good stuff happened this morning.  Anyone else have a kid who despises diaper changes?  We have been on the down-with-diaper-changes tantrum express for about seven months.  Well, wouldn't you know this morning, Gideon told Taylor he was "poo poo" and when Taylor responded he would get him in a minute, Gideon went to the basket, pulled out his wipes, a diaper, and his rash cream and laid down waiting for Taylor to come.  This was all relayed to me later and honestly if I had seen it, I might have passed out from shock.  I like this little corner we just turned.

I've always had full control over dressing Gideon and choosing what he wears.  Clearly, he just goes along with it, but the tides are turning and I'm not oh so happy about it.  Let him express himself, you say?  I'm sorry but socks with crocs is not an expression I want him to have.  It's criminal if anything.  But alas, socks and crocs is a daily occurrence in our home.  I can't decide if I'm more appalled or Taylor.  And then yesterday, Gideon needed a mid-day wardrobe change so that he could wear a shirt with a football on it.  Important things.  Meltdowns would ensue and the world would be askew if it DID. NOT. HAPPEN.  Am I seriously at this point already?  How?  Can't we just go back to onesies and immobile-ness? And why is my computer saying "onesie" isn't a word?  Am I losing my mind?

Despite the bewilderment that parenthood brings, it is the freaking best thing in the world.  Better than chocolate cake.  Better than bubble baths.  Better than peeing in privacy (obviously). So has your kid thrown you in a loop lately?

* Sorry for the blurry photos, but the sequence was too good not to share.  Thanks to Taylor for always being ready to catch my good side ;) 

Pool

I woke up this morning determined to have a better day than yesterday.  I'll spare you the details, but will say it involved pesky teeth, a toddler who won't listen and a mama at the end of her rope.  Anyone else?  Just me?  OK.

Well, a day can't be bad when you start it with bacon and start with bacon it did.  Gideon and I read, or I read and he continuously hit me with one of those plastic golf clubs.  We organized his shoes and put all the baby ones away.  And then I said, let's go to the pool.  Here's how it went down.

9:21:  Gather Gideon's swimsuit, diaper, and shoes.
9:29: Finally catch Gideon after numerous attempts.  Struggle to change him.
9:34: I change as fast as I can.  Gideon decides he needs to flush the toilet three times while in the bathroom.
9:40:  Try to get him on our deck so I can spray him with sunscreen.  Notice my flowers need water.                         Water my flowers because my kid has disappeared.
9:43: Spray with sunscreen.  He decides he likes it and cries when I am finished.
9:50:  Finally out the door.  Toddler, check.  Towel, check.  Keys, check. Phone, check.
9:52: At the pool.  Set down my things and Gideon.  Attempt to remove my cover-up before he jumps in.  No go.
9:53: One hand on Gideon, one hand pulling cover-up.  Inevitable flashing may occur.  No one else at pool, all is good.
9:54:  In pool with Gideon.  He says, no.
9:55:  Gideon gets out.  Walks along edge.  Jumps to me.
9:57: Back out
10:00: Back in
10:05:  Needs to walk around the pool and talk about how hot the cement is.  It's not.
10:08:  Another round of in and out.
10:15: Back inside our home and putting Gideon in our "indoor pool."

Pools always seemed as if they would be the best activity with children, but they are not.  They can fall in and that idea doesn't sit well with me.  I prefer a beach where he can roam because he is a roamer.  The best part was walking away when he looked back, waved and said, byyye pool. I think we will wait until Taylor can go with us.  Regardless, the determination paid off and we have rocked the first part of today.  Holler.

Also, any suggestions on flotation devices for 18 month olds?  He hates the baby floats and I have heard the water wings that also go around the abdomen aren't small enough.

Things I've learned in the last 18 months...

+ To carry a snack at ALL times.

+ Also, a diaper, but snacks for sure.

+ How to carry all the groceries plus a toddler from the car to our second floor apartment.  Who needs a gym?

+ It's OK if he eats sand. And dirt. And cat food.  But maybe not cat litter.

+ He has bad days, just like me.

+ Hot dogs can be their own food group.

+ He doesn't hide when he does something wrong.  He comes and kisses me instead.

+ Closing the bathroom door is a privilege I lost when I saw those two lines.

+ Sleep is overrated.  Babies are not.

+ I'll miss him as soon as he is asleep for the night.

+ "Elmo" and "oatmeal" sound the exact same.  Look for context clues.

+ It hurts to step on matchbox cars.  Glad we aren't into Legos yet.

+ Letting him "help" will add time to the task, but joy to his face.

+ Crayons do show up on couches.  And pillows.  And purses.

+ If I can't find something, he most likely hid it in my purse.

+ Every ball is a "ba ba baw" (basketball).  Just go with it.

+ Ignorance is bliss.  If I don't see it, it didn't happen.  

+ I'll take the joy of being a parent over material things any day.  They don't bring the satisfaction that he does.

Calm mama

Always a moving blur, but I love how the sun was shining on him.

When Gideon was born, I was a mess.  An emotional, hormonal, nervous mess.  I questioned EVERYTHING, probably to the point of making Taylor question my sanity or his for marrying me.  I had heart palpitations if he wasn't napping or nursing at the right times, or if he fussed and I couldn't figure out why.  I've had a million mild (and some full-on) heart attacks when he's taken a fall and I know Taylor wants to ring my neck when I do the gasp.  You know the one.  All moms do it.  I was an uptight mama and have just recently began to calm down and understand that what will happen, will happen and Gideon will turn out fine.  (If Taylor is reading this, he is probably laughing his head off and calling me out for "calming down."  Baby steps, man)

I realized I had reached a point of calmness in Target last week.  Target.  Many of life's lessons can be learned there.  It was bedtime for my little guy, but I needed to stop with my sister-in-law to pick up wipes and Almond milk. Gideon had been going to bed later because hey, vacation.  Well, he reached code red tantrum level of no I do NOT want to be carried, no I will not follow you, don't you think about putting me in that cart, I see football on the millions of tvs and no you will not move me.  So I picked him up and carried him like a sack of potatoes under my arm as I grabbed the wipes and headed for the milk.  He screamed the entire time.  I kept my head up and kept going.  My SIL said there was a couple with a newborn hysterically laughing about it.

You just wait.  Your time is coming.  

I still have my quirks and the things that make me nervous or anxious about mothering, but the smashed banana in the carpet that I can't figure out how it got there no longer insights crazy mom.  The dirt, sand, shells, cat food going into his mouth gets a shrug and a smirk from me now.  The no naps, tantrums, picky eating, always eating, never eating invokes a change in activity and a piece of chocolate for me.

I'll probably always, ALWAYS gasp when he falls (I pushed him out, so anything that could possibly damage him, is mine to gasp at) but I hope I continually calm down and hey, maybe by my third or even fourth (Tay we can talk about it later) I'll be a freaking blissed out mama.