12 July 2013

Growing Pains

I have had a rough two weeks in regards to my hormones and have had a few teary moments that Taylor has totally caught me in each time.  Can't hide anything from that husband.  It hasn't helped that yet again my body decides to throw me for a loop and re-program my hormones once again.  Do we ever get a a break ladies?  I mean you go from normal, to pregnant, to postpartum, and back to normal which for us really isn't normal.  A roller coaster of hormones and changes.

I can't even begin to count the times that someone has said something like, "Enjoy that baby, they grow so fast."  I always smile and nod.  But I am here to tell you that it is true.  Any mama out there will agree that you blink for a minute and you're already seven months in.  Oh nostalgia.  I think back to those first few days in the hospital where we were so lost as new parents.  Our second night there, Gideon started crying so we checked his diaper, swaddled him, tried to feed him with zero results.  So Taylor and I looked at each other and the fear was so evident in both our eyes.  What now?

Or how about those first few days at home.  Rather first few nights.  A tornado of sleep for an hour, up and change the baby, sleep for an hour, feed the baby, restless minds and blurry eyes.  But how sweet did he look while he was sleeping and how precious were his tiny fingers and tiny toes.  That little baby who was content to ride in a sling across my body and sit in his swing while we made dinner.

And just like that, he is bigger.  A bigger baby boy who soothes himself to sleep in his crib, in his own room.  He wiggles and rolls everywhere and it takes more strength and muscle than I have most days to keep him where I need him to be.  No more content baby riding in a sling.  He turns his body and jerks as if to say, I can do this on my own.  He yells and jabbers while we make dinner instead of sitting quietly and watching. He is content to entertain himself and will sit and play with his toys.   But, his smile lights up the room and the way his arms reach for us makes my heart soar.

I have cried several times the last two weeks.  Not because I am upset that he is growing up.  It is just emotional to watch the baby that you waited for, for so long become a boy.  He is changing everyday and some days I'm ready and others I'm not.

Within one week my baby began drinking out of a big bottle (8 oz), using a sippy cup for water, got his first tooth and just now I washed and packed up his infant car seat to store away for our next baby.  So much, so fast.  Even though I let those tears fall, I know he has to grow up and I enjoy watching him do it.

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