14 January 2013

Our journey to Baby B...

Deciding to have a baby is the biggest decision we have made thus far in our marriage.  It is a little more entailed than picking what's for dinner.  We made this giant step last May and the reality of the decision did not sink in right away. 

In my naive mind, I planned on holding a sweet baby in my arms 9 months from the moment we reached this decision.  Ten months later, my arms were still empty and my emotions were scattered. The journey to our baby was different than either of us expected.

Hubs took the more mature and logical approach to the situation, of course. "It will happen when it is meant to."  If only I could believe his words.  I knew they were true, but I wanted this on my time.  Why did the Lord not understand my desire to be a mother?

The second month resulted in a positive test...followed by two negatives.  We landed at the doctors to hear them tell us we had a very early miscarriage.  We both felt broken.
Each and every month I counted the days and took the test and ended up crying in the bathroom.  I don't know how my sweet Hubs put up with me.  I call this my "emotionally unstable" era. 

Satan used this time to embed all kinds of lies in my mind.  "You can't get pregnant.  It will never happen for you."  To make things worse, every where I turned there seemed to be pregnant woman or pregnancy announcements.  

We cried out to the Lord, "Hear our prayers. You know what we want."

But what does He want?

What are His plans for us as parents?  What are His plans for our baby? I never stopped to consider this.  

Month ten came and with it a renewed mindset.  Our pastor asked our church to take an entire week as a "Thanksgiving week."  Instead of asking of the Lord during prayer we were to thank Him for what he has already done and accomplished.

Our prayers changed from "please Lord" to "thank you for allowing us this time to prepare ourselves to be parents" and "thank you for this opportunity to save money so we can bring a baby into a financially stable home."  

For the first time, our prayers were positive and were seeking the Lord for the right reason.  Don't get me wrong.  He wants us to come to Him and ask of Him. But we must always remember to thank Him.

Just a few weeks later, almost as an afterthought, I took a test.  It was positive.  

The point of this is not to say that the Lord "finally" answered our prayer. He was answering it all along. For ten months, the answer simply was "not yet."

He was faithful the day we decided to become parents. 

He was faithful the day we lost one so early on.

He was faithful each and every day for ten months.

He remains faithful today.


  1. Em, this is the site I used for the signature I have on my blog


    It's nothing fancy, but it works!

  2. You are such a great writer. Your words are so true and honest. Thanks for sharing and congrats on baby b! We are excited for you two! Keep us all updated! Prayers for good health!


  3. congrats guys! thanks for sharing a great reminder of God's perfect timing even when it is tough to understand, and praising for him teaching you about his faithfulness in new ways!


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...