]

31 March 2015

Egg hunt

















We've been talking about the Easter egg hunt with Gideon for a few weeks.  Last year, he didn't quite get it and ended up with a basketful of pinecones.  He was prepared this year and every day leading up to the egg hunt, kept saying "I'm ready to go to Easter."  He did much better this year, but kept setting his bucket down and running to get an egg and bring it back and halfway through decided he was ready for the candy instead of picking up more eggs.  Maybe next year?

It was a pretty cold day in Beaufort standards, so the sweaters were necessary which felt cruel for an Easter celebration.  But, the sun was shining which was more than we could ask for with all the rain and gloom we've had lately.  Nolan stayed snuggly warm in the wrap and slept the entire time.  Bounce houses (which Gideon opted out of, of course), sack races, popcorn, hot dogs, and the egg hunt, and my sweet baby did not budge.  I was a little scared I might drip ketchup on his head while hot dogging it up, but made it out unscathed, not that he would have noticed.

Also, because most important part, the candy in the eggs was pretty stellar this year.  Priorities.

26 March 2015

Gideon says // 09


+ While Gideon was playing in the living room, I heard him fart.
   Me: I heard that toot!
   Gideon: Doesn't even stop playing. I heard it too.

+ While watching me nurse Nolan.
   Gideon: Pulling up his shirt. He drink the food in my belly.  He drink my milk.
   Me: You have milk?
   Gideon: Yea!  Chocolate milk!

+ While being picky about eating his dinner and only wanting the biscuit part of the ham biscuit.
    Taylor: Eat your ham, buddy.  Ironman likes ham!
    Gideon: With the most serious expression.  He likes bread too.
    *We couldn't argue with that and also couldn't stop laughing.

+ At snack time...
   Gideon:  I want two marshmallows.
   Me: trying to be nice. How about three?
   Gideon: How about two?
   *His negotiating skills need work... or his counting.

+ While stalling at nap time.
    Gideon: I need a sips of water... and a nose wipe...no!  A new one...and a story... Oh!  My ears.    Mom, I needs a Qs tip.

+ While leaving the store the other day.
    Gideon:  I got to go to work.
    Me:  What do you do at work?
    Gideon:  Play guitar and talk into the microphone.  (hashtag: pastor's kid)

+ While Nolan was particularly fussy one day.
    Gideon: whispers to me. Spank him.
    * We had a talk about how little babies don't know any better and we weren't going to spank him.
    

23 March 2015

Lately with two


Whew.  How has it been almost three weeks since we had a baby?  It goes so fast with some of the longest days at the same time.  Defying logic all day, everyday.  So here is a little update on life with two in our house...

{one}. The hardest part about having two is meeting both of their needs that arise at the same time when I am by myself.  It is impossible (because it is) to nurse Nolan while he is screaming and help Gideon use the potty at the same time.  So one is usually crying while I help the other and then I switch.  But, we are learning and will get it down.

{two}.  Speaking of Gideon and the potty, he decided this week that he wanted to potty train.  After months of us encouraging it and trying and him objecting, he out of the blue asked to use it.  And I am not one to thwart that party especially when it will mean less diapers.  He's used it several times, but is not fully trained yet.  Any help or advice is welcome!

{three}. Nolan is sleeping pretty great at night.  Usually waking every three to four hours.  Sometimes he gets ahead of himself and is up at two hours.  But, I think it doesn't feel so horrible this time around because A). my body is used to it and B). I know that it ends and I will eventually sleep again.  Maybe not for the next twelve months or so, but at some point, he will be big and sleeping and I will be sad.

{four}. Last week, I started pumping so we could try a bottle.  Several reasons I like to do this.  So Taylor can feed him which he loves, in case I need to be/go somewhere and can't bring Nolan, and for sanity.  He took the bottle right away like a champ and hasn't shown an issue with any of them in the evenings before bed.  I also like to know that he is full (he falls asleep during nursing, but with a bottle I can see how much he has had) before bed!  Yay baby, yay!

{five}. Gideon is obsessed with the Avengers and superheroes in general.  I mean obsessed.  He assigns us all characters.  I am either Cat woman or Black widow.  Taylor is usually Bane or Joker.  I think I get the better end of that deal.

{six].  These got longer than I had anticipated so I will stop for now.

13 March 2015

Spring came, my love.


The week after our first miscarriage, I found myself reading Angie Smith's book, I Will Carry You.  Her story through carrying and losing her fourth daughter and how her faith played a role throughout.  I had actually read the book before without really knowing why I was, but I see that the Lord was just preparing me for what we would walk and that I would recall so much from this book to bring comfort.

I posted a photo on Instagram that week of this quote from one of the pages:

"However easy it may be to allow myself to wail over my loss, it is a far more satisfying thing to believe that all of this is a brief season.  The Lord I have placed my trust in tells me that I will see my child again, and while He stands beside me, He weeps.  He doesn't weep at the barren ground, nor does He mourn the browning branches.  He cries because I can't see what He can.  And in the fluttering of the breeze, with my heart pressed to His, I can hear Him whisper, Spring will come, my love."

For the months following that loss, I kept praying for my Spring to come. I kept begging for it.  Make it obvious, Lord.  Where is the Spring?  Then we found ourselves facing loss again and I forgot all about the coming Spring.

I think the strangest thing about loss, and the hardest to explain to others, is that I still hurt.  There are no replacement babies.  Sure, having a baby has taken away a lot of the ache and filled me with joy, but there was still loss.  I still hurt as I watch friends and family walk this same path.  As they feel the bleakness that comes with winter and crave the Spring.

I honestly hadn't given much thought to this quote since that time.  Just last week, as I sat holding my few day old baby boy, with our doors flung wide and the breeze rustling the trees, did I remember the Spring.  I couldn't see what He could.  In the midst of the craziness, Spring showed up.  Literally and figuratively.

And I heard Him whisper... Spring came, my love.

10 March 2015

A birth story: Nolan Levi


Nolan Levi
March 3, 2015 | 6:41 pm
7 pounds 3 ounces | 20.5 inches

The end of this pregnancy felt so different from my first with Gideon.  I was feeling tons of contractions and knew that I was progressing more than I had with G.  I had high hopes of going into labor early and having a baby before my due date.  I had Nolan before his due date, but it happened a lot differently than I originally thought.

During one of my last appointments, my midwife scheduled a growth ultrasound because they said Nolan was measuring small.  During the ultrasound the tech said everything looked great and he was just small.  She told me to start wiping the gel off of my belly, but then told me to stop.  She had been calculating his percentages and said his size ended up being in the tenth percent which is when they start needing to check other things.  Long story short, when the doctor walked into the room, she explained that my body was having to work extra hard to pump blood through the cord to the baby and that they wanted to induce in my 39th week to insure that it didn't stop pumping altogether or begin pumping backwards.  So, within the next ten minutes, I was asked to choose a day to meet my baby.  March 3.  It felt right and my favorite doctor was on call, so it was set.

This was a week and a half out and I was still hoping that I would go into labor on my own before.  I was progressed to 3 centimeters and 80 percent effaced which looked great.  I stayed 3 cm and 80 percent effaced that entire time.  No progression from then until I was checked the morning of the induction.


We arrived at the hospital before the sun was up.  I was asked a million questions and got my IV inserted for the pitocin, after one blown vein.  Heart monitor for baby, contraction monitor, and blood pressure cuff.  All the horns and whistles.  I was the only woman there as it is a small, new hospital.  I was asked several times about pain management and asked to sign forms for anesthesia, but I kept telling them that I was hoping to do this naturally this time.  The nurses, techs and my doctor were all very supportive.

After a few minutes, I decided I needed to get up and moving so Taylor and I walked the empty halls while dragging the IV pole behind.  Back and forth.  Back and forth.  Hoping that this was doing something.  My nurse would occasionally stop me and up the dosage of pitocin.  Each time I celebrated, which she said I was the only patient ever to do.  I was ready to meet this boy and knew the higher the dose the faster it would happen.  I also knew that I needed to have my water broken to progress even faster.  I hadn't progressed with Gideon until they broke mine then and I had a feeling it would be the same now.  Unfortunately, my doctor was stuck in the OR so there was no one to do this yet.

The morning and afternoon slowly began to go by.  The pitocin was at the highest dosage they could give me and my doctor was still stuck in the OR.  My nurse felt horrible as she couldn't give me a time frame.  I knew it wasn't anyone's fault, but I was so frustrated.  I was feeling contractions, but they were manageable and I knew they weren't doing much.  Finally around 2:45 in the afternoon, my doctor made it to my room.  I was right, ZERO progression from earlier.  She immediately broke my water and I was ready for the show.  Or so I thought.


Taylor had skipped lunch since he thought we would have had him much earlier in the day.  So, our moms left to go pick him up some food.  I was starving at this point, but assured Taylor I wanted him to eat in the room.  I needed him nearby.  The contractions were picking up and getting super intense.  I had HGTV on to distract my mind.  Each time a contraction hit, I closed my eyes and held onto the bed rails to concentrate.  Taylor hurried through his food and joined me on the bed to hold my hand.  He constantly reminded me to breathe as I often found myself holding my breath.  In through your nose, out through your mouth.  He was entirely too calm.

I was in tons of pain and asked my nurse if I could be checked.  I was praying to be complete, but had a feeling I wasn't.  With Gideon, I had no doubt when it was time to push.  I didn't feel that pressure yet.  My nurse checked me and said I was almost at a 7.  She asked if I wanted to stand in the shower or use a birth ball.  I opted for the birth ball because the thought of being wet did not sound appealing at this point.  I sat and swayed on the ball while laying my head on the bed.  Taylor sat behind me and kneaded my back because it hurt so bad.  He turned on some slower music which helped until a nursery nurse came in to ask me more questions that I was positive I had already answered.  Taylor answered for me while I gave the lady death stares.  Is that really necessary while I'm in the MIDDLE OF LABOR?

I was beginning to feel light headed so I decided to get back in the bed before falling on the floor.  This is when everything got beyond intense.  I couldn't stay quiet during contractions anymore and I am pretty sure I almost broke the bed from how hard I was pushing on the rails with each contraction.  HGTV went off and Taylor watched the mountains climb on the paper and continued to coach me through them.  Anytime he stepped a few inches away from me, I freaked.  I needed him right by me and he assured me he wasn't going anywhere.

I begged for my doctor to come check me and she rushed in to do so.  An 8.  In my mind I was freaking out.  Two more centimeters to go.  How in the heck was I going to make it two more centimeters?  For some reason it seemed like it would take forever so I began to second guess my decision to not have an epidural.  My doctor suggested I try a few more things before jumping to pain medication and asked if I could flip over the top of my bed.  I hung over the top while my doctor climbed on the bed and pressed on my back.  She asked me to rock with each contraction.  This was the most painful part of the entire day and in my mind I was breaking.  I groaned through it and after a few minutes told them I needed to pee.  I didn't make it off the bed though and apologized as Taylor helped me to the bathroom.  I could see that the bed was covered in blood.

I sat on the toilet and screamed through another contraction as Taylor held my face and told me to focus.  I looked him in the eyes and told him I HAD to have an epidural.  (He told me later, he knew they wouldn't give me one at this point).  I walked out of the bathroom as they were re-dressing the bed and begged my doctor for an epidural.  She calmly asked me to lay down and be checked and happily told me I was complete.  This was it.  I had made it.

My mom grabbed one leg and Taylor's mom grabbed the other.  Taylor stayed near my head to encourage me.  I was dreading this part, as I had pushed for three hours with Gideon.  It was part of the reason I chose to do it naturally.  I wanted to be able to better feel what I was doing in order to push.

I pushed three times with each contraction.  After two pushes, my doctor said he was blonde and I couldn't believe it.  A few more pushes, but I could feel with each one what I was doing and that it was helping.  Both our moms had tears as they kept encouraging.  I whispered to Taylor to pray that this was my last push.  One more big push and my doctor calmly looked at me and told me I needed to stop pushing for a second.  I had no clue why especially with how much pain I was in, but I stopped.  No one told me until much later, but the cord was around Nolan's neck.  My mom said later that she was really worried because he was so blue.  Taylor said our doctor was so amazing at holding it away from his neck and getting him unwrapped.  (The doctor who delivered him was phenomenal and I would not have made it through the day without her!  She is the reason I chose that day).


After 21 minutes of pushing, with one more big push they laid him on my chest.  That same relief I felt after having Gideon flooded me again and I was overwhelmed with emotions.  I cried and cried and kept saying, You're here.  You're here.  I think with everything we went through with loss and getting pregnant, I couldn't believe he was finally here in my arms.  Nolan let out the biggest cry right away, as if to let us know he was there.


I snuggled him for a while before they took him to get measurements.  We celebrated when they announced he was seven pounds, three ounces.  Bigger than they had estimated he would be.  Already proving them wrong!  I delivered the placenta and was sown up which was a much better experience this time around.


Our moms left the room to meet my dad and Gideon in the waiting room.  My dad had pulled into the parking lot with G at the exact moment that my mom sent him a text to tell him that Nolan was here.  Talk about perfect timing.  I nursed Nolan and Taylor left to get Gideon.  We wanted a few minutes just us as a family of four.


Gideon came in and was instantly interested in everything.  He wanted to know about the baby bassinet and all different things in the room.  Then he saw Nolan in my arms.  We asked if he wanted to touch him, thinking he would just touch his head quick to start warming up, but he leaned in and kissed his brother's head and my heart exploded.  We had a gift for Gideon "from Nolan" and he was so excited about it. He also had a gift for Nolan.  Taylor got G situated on the couch and helped him hold Nolan.  Nothing in the world like seeing that.


It was a completely crazy experience and so different than the one I had with Gideon.  I'm glad and I know that I will never forget the details of either one.  So worth it to have my rainbow baby safely in my arms.


09 March 2015

And that's a wrap.

the bump in progress...


15 weeks


20 weeks


25 weeks


30 weeks


35 weeks


40 weeks
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...